Get all 4 The Bird and The Radio releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
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1. |
Pretend You're a Log
02:12
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pour some gasoline on the lawn
and set it on fire
as long as the rocks burn
we'll have some fun
and maybe cook a hotdog
pack your shit and make a run at the tree-lined life
where every last weeble on the bus doesn't carry a knife
only 62 miles to Montreal
sleep under tables at the conference hall
saying: bonjour
may I have another cigarette s'il vous plaît?
when we're underwater pretending we're logs
well only 16 miles to the dreaded SPAC
and the James Taylor torture rack
and all the Wild Lettuce we collected on foil
and all the gnats and flies we caught on our tongues
and all the tadpoles all wiggly and wild
and our secret spots in the lily pad mat
could numb us to that
pretend you're a log
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2. |
Black Shirt
02:05
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I bought a shirt from the shop at 666 Main
for a wake on Wednesday at 10
the salesman had a funny look in his eye
when I gave him the cash and said my goodbyes
I should've know when it fit too well
the label on the back made it easy to tell
the shirt was made from threads that were spun in hell
and sewn together down there as well
when I tried it on for the very first time
it didn't take long to see the shirt's evil side
'cause everyone I touched just died
It started my dog slumped on the floor
and then my wife laying lifeless and cold
then my kids were next in line - victims of my fashion crime
and now I'm dressed to kill - off the human race
so now I'm locked in to this killing fate
I'm killing off the Human race
the work of the devil's ensured
by this black, button-down, Egyptian cotton oxford
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3. |
You Elevate Me
02:08
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you draw the line in the sand
you elevate me
you draw the line in the sand
I give you my eye
you elevate me
you draw the line in the sand
I stand by the line
you elevate me
you draw the line in the sand
I stand by the line
you elevate me
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4. |
Fountains of Blood
01:58
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there were fountains of blood
we were slipping and sliding there's no denying
that if we'd been vampires it'd been exciting
there were fountains of blood
Paris, Barcelona, and Rome
have fountains that were put to shame
by the plasma that shimmered in the summer sun
like a pact wet, warm, and forgotten
there were fountains of blood
we were laughing and crying as our friend lay dying
while we had hoped to save him it was no use trying
'cause the fountains of blood
they say that blood is thicker than water
and it's clear that it's thicker than air
I threw a quarter as a token of our friendship
and a nickel for being there
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5. |
It's Been Years
01:35
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it's been years
but I finally found a picture of you
word is you're still the same old you
if I grow a third arm out of my back
I'll reach across the ocean
and knock upon your door
and when you answer
I'll slap you in the floor
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6. |
I'm Guilty
01:34
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well I'm guilty of growing old
and you are guilty of the same
despite being told by
blue-haired beauties
in wheelchairs at the nursing home
they said never grow old
one two three four
my eyes have fallen on the floor
five six seven eight
please speak up enunciate
better embrace your balding head
feed squirrels in parks and horde crusts of bread
wear clashing plaids - speak the brutal truth
drop your social filters and get a gold tooth
enjoy that stale old person smell
as your sense of hygiene goes to hell
if anybody asks your name
tell them — you've always wanted to visit Spain
four three two one
let's wear our diapers like we're out for fun
five six seven eight
let's lose our shit and flatulate
well I'm guilty of growing old
and you are guilty of the same
despite being told by
blue-haired beauties
in wheelchairs at the nursing home
but we didn't listen
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7. |
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dropping to the bottom of the sea
dropping to the bottom of the sea
floating by what I thought were fireflies
bright lantern fish and swirling octopus dies
down down down down under the waves
dropping to the bottom of the sea
dropping to the bottom of the sea
full fathom five where rocks and stones are alive
encrusted in coral, barnacles and brine
do you still recognize me?
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8. |
I Can't Raise My Arms
02:38
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we're fortified in our houses
with hopes and good intentions
she's buying clothes for little kids again
and I can't raise my arms
we slalom through men in handshakes and brass button wagons
we stuff the porch bags with cans and then we sound the alarms
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9. |
One of Those Dreams
03:17
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I woke up
I didn't know where I was
My eyes were all full of fuzz
I think it was because
I had one of those dreams
where you're stuck inside a bathroom stall
you brace yourself for a fall
and the door turns into a wall
one of those dreams
where you give a big speech in your undies
your week is filled up with Mondays
you're drowning in the Bay of Fundy.
one of those dreams
where a river runs through your hair
where your penis is a tiny bear
and you bend over and poop out a pear
one of those dreams
where your dad arm wrestles with a cricket
and Hitler sells you a ticket
and you lose your pants in a thicket
one of those dreams you dream inside another dream
one of those dreams where you wake up but - don't look down
one of those dreams
where horse fly in planes
where dogs sing about macrame
and all the tulips call your name
one of those dreams
where cowboys saddle up on fishes
where hummingbirds grant you wishes
and an octopus does your dishes
one of those dreams
where your nose can sing a song
trombones litter the lawn
and you met an alien named Don
one of those dreams
where your mom dresses like a clown
there are penguins walking 'round downtown
and your eyes are put on upside down
one of those dreams
where you slip down the drain in the shower
you wake up looking like Moe Howard
and you turn yourself into a flower
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10. |
Catch It In Pans
03:27
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yeah I know it's been a long time
moss grows on your telephone line
we all know you've got holes in your roof
you can't hide that it's raining inside
it's awkward to drop by when it rains
to watch you when your trying to catch it all in pans
your tin pan attic's sprung a leak again
and you refuse to move in with your friends
some rain is bound to splash outside the lines
even when the sun shines
yeah I know it's been a long time
moss grows on your delicate mind
we all know that there are holes in your truths
you can't hide when they lock your door from the outside
it's awkward to drop in the sunshine
and watch you as your trying to catch it all in pans
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